Friday, 4 September 2015

A Letter to My Childhood Self

I read this prompt on the Compassion blog and decided to have some fun with it!

Dear Little Hannah,

It's me. No, not that, ya goose. Me. Your older, wiser, more experienced self. Have I got a few words of wisdom for you! No, you're not crazy. Just be quiet and listen, 'kay?

Number 1. Adulting is hard, girl! There's so much stuff that you haven't even thought about! Bills to pay! Cars breaking down! Forms to fill out! And more forms!! And more forms!!!

Not to mention, catching that centipede that you discover in your sink at four in the morning all by yourself.

All I can say is, experiment. No one's gotta know about that batch of cookies you had to dump because you burned them beyond recognition... or the entire container of food that you forgot in the back of the fridge and had to throw away container and all because it grew *GASP* pink mold and everyone knows that PINK MOLD CAN KILL YOU... or the time you dropped an entire pie on the floor... or the time you caught the microwave on fire. (Gosh, kiddo, you sure didn't inherit your mom's cooking genes did ya?)

Just chill, take it easy... it's called growing up. Every adult does stuff like this. I think.

Number 2. Adulting is amazing. That's the part that people don't tell you about. When you go out and purchase a piece of furniture that compliments your decor perfectly... when you dress up and treat yourself to dinner to celebrate life... when you just get in your car and drive and drive with no destination in mind, just because you can... when you host your first party. Being an adult is the toughest thing you'll ever do, but also the most rewarding.

Number 3. You know that African girl you've been wanting to sponsor? The one you dream about every time you see a World Vision commercial on TV? The one whose picture you cut out of a magazine and taped to the fridge? The one you dream about writing letters to?

You're going to have four of them. Yup. Four. And two boys besides. (One in Indonesia.) And it will Change. Your. Life. And it will cause your heart to break in ways you never dreamed of and it will put all the pieces of your life back together again and your friends will call you a single mom and you'll brag about "your kids" to random strangers and it will be the best thing that ever happens in your life. I promise. 

Number 4. Okay, I hate to tell you this part. You're gonna get hurt, babygirl. Adults don't know how to play nice. Be careful who you give your heart away to, all right? Even the sweetest people in the world can let you down and hurt you in ways that no one should have to experience. You're going to learn what depression means. You're going to learn what betrayal means. You're going to learn what sleepless nights feel like, and what crying until you throw up feels like, and what rage feels like.

But you'll make it. (If you didn't, I wouldn't be here writing this letter to you would I?)

You'll make it, you know why? Because you're going to learn that it's not about who you are, it's about Whose you are. Because you'll learn to see everything beautiful in the storm. Because your worth will come from One Who loves you. Because one day, you'll learn to smile and walk away with your heart intact. You may not think that you're going to make it, but you will. Because one day, you'll learn to remove negative people, thoughts, and influences from your life without a second thought.

Number 5. You are who you are. Don't let anybody, and I mean anybody, change that. Be crazy. Be weird. Be awkward. Stick out like a sore thumb. Be the one running around catching snowflakes on your tongue while people look at you like you've lost your mind. Be the one giggling so hard that everyone turns to look. Be you, crazy girl. Don't be anybody else.

Number 6. Remember how you always dreamed of being a singer? You're gonna do it chickie! You're gonna sing on stages and have people cry and come up afterwards to hug you. And what's more, you're going to meet the best friends that you've ever had who are gonna sit back and accept you for who you are. You're going to laugh until you snort and you're going to go on crazy adventures and you're going to sing in parking lots and restaurants and malls, and you're going to go into a recording studio and get a fit of anxious laughter because you can't believe you're making a CD for crying out loud and isn't that unbelievable?!

Number 7. You're gonna grow up, Hannah-Strawberry-Banana-Spitfire-Torment. And it's going to be painfully funny and beautifully impossible. And you're going to laugh and cry and groan and giggle and scream and sigh. And it's going to be fun. And it's going to be tough. And you're gonna do it. And you're not gonna give up, because like I said, if you did, I wouldn't be writing you this letter. And you're gonna come out on top; maybe a little battered, maybe a little broken, but still beautiful, okay?

Because you're not brave enough to be mediocre. 

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